rumour mill burns to the ground

I can't speak for other companies, but at our place the rumour mill works harder then any other department. Unfortunately for me, I am a favourite topic.
This is a new experience to me having never been interesting enough to talk about before; I feel like a new starlet - thrust into fame against my wishes and struggling to cope with the sudden overwhelming and often negative attention. Apart from the starlet bit (no fame, money or freebie designer label clothing in my job - although I did get a high viz coat so big I look like it's my dad's).
I am not a gossip myself - I know you're reading this thinking "yeah, right" but it's true - I just couldn't give a rat's ass what other people are doing. In all honesty, I can barely keep up with immediate family: I'm the sort of person to forget birthdays.
Bearing that in mind, I can only speculate without conclusion why people gossip. I only took psychology as far as GCSE level so a comprehensive psychological breakdown this is not:
- They are looking for social acceptance
- They are reassuring themselves of their own standing by trying to reduce others
- They are immature
- They are cowards
- They watch too much Hollyoaks
My Line Manager wanted to string them up by the balls (bless 'im) but I didn't pass on any names. Before you start to form the image of a pushover in your head, let me tell you what I did do. I texted the culprit informing him I'd not passed on who he was, but that if he spoke another word about me I'd pull his balls off myself. And if he even tried to deny it, I'd do it anyway. I finished with calling him a gossipy little shit. I think I caught a palid expression after that.
And hopefully this is where the story ends - it took a year of this before I decided enough was enough and hopefully word will spread (aha) that I am in the business of phallic mutilation and people will choose another topic to talk excitedly about in hushed voices. That, or I'll have the police round arresting me for assault.

I think the lessons to learn from this are to decide your level of tolerance, don't overreact, don't think of yourself as a victim, and think twice before assaulting a coworker.

~ introducing heels

At my previous role, I wore stiletto heels and tight pencil skirts; there's something about lawyers that makes you feel comfortable being inappropriate.
But in man's world I wear flats and trousers. I think it's a self-imposed oppression of my femininity, because there are other women and they don't wear flats and trousers. Anyway, I decided in the past month, to start wearing my wedge heels and three-quarter-length trousers; man, I love those trousers and wedge heels.

Viva la heelution.